Do I need a plan?

Just wondering about this forty something crisis that people go through...I thought by the time I was my age I would know what I wanted from life...

I finish my study in January and I had anticipated by this stage in my degree I would have a clue of what type of nursing I wanted to venture into... nope... My favourite placement was probably mental health, tragic yet hilarious... I imagine too that I would enjoy midwifery, seems birthing was one of my personal talents, I'm sure I would enjoy witnessing new life emerge on a daily basis... Having the opportunity to care for a patient as they depart this life, is also a blessed experience... however, I still don't know what I want to do with this new knowledge...

I think about my family living in Tasmania, how did that happen? I was just watching Sixty minutes one night in QLD and something came on about Tasmania... Seemed like a good idea, suggested it to Adam... purchased a house over the phone within the week and made plans to move... without ever visiting the place... who does that, and I really do wonder why?

Married at eighteen? Seriously, if my Ethan came home and told me he was getting married, I am sorry I would have him on a plane North... somewhere, anywhere. I will admit, marrying my wonderful husband was a saving grace for me, he is my anchor, but I do wonder what my parents were thinking.

Then children... we have four... not really planned that way, we never thought we should not have too many children, we might not be able to afford them, might be too difficult, we should wait until we pay the house off... yada yada. We just did it and I do love them, although I have been known to hide under the stairwell, or lock myself in my bedroom to get a break.

The businesses we have owned... Adam and I were sitting in Cold Rock in Brisbane and watching people line up for this ice cream sensation and thought we could do that... we just decided on the spot and opened a store a few months later. Sold our home to finance it.

I was a customer at the local organic store here in Hobart, the guy who worked there told me the shop was closing if no one purchased it by the end of the week... so I did, I purchased it and was running the store by the Friday of that week... We were in the middle of renovating a house and I was breastfeeding a baby... why?

It seems that is the way I like to live and I think secretly Adam enjoys the spontaneity of it too... just decide on something and go for it. Turns out, things have worked well enough living like this... I do wonder however, what would be different if we had a plan?

This coming up to forty in a few years is making me feel like I need one...

I'm planning a few things...

- being happy
- giving love
- feeling free
- wondering more

... and I am looking forward to seeing what opportunities strike our fancy in the future... I just wish they would hurry up already!